Nought degrees Kelvin

How can it be so cold in here. It's like Greenland in here. We've got to get some booze. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. I mean look at us! Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels.

What happened to your cigar commercial?

That's what I want to know. what happened to my cigar commercial. What happened to my agent? Bastard must have died.

September. Bad patch.

Rubbish. Haven't seen Gylgod down the labour exchange. Why doesn't he retire.

Look at this little bastard. Boy lands plumb role for top Italian director. Of course his does. Probably on a tenner a day and i know what for: Two pound ten a tit and a fiver for his arse.

Have you been at the controls!?

What are you talking about?

The thermostats. what have you done to them?

I haven't touched them.

Then why has my head gone numb. I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze.

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Scientific breakthrough; temperature below absolute zero has been registered this morning on my way to work. "Well, what a to-do. I'll turn the world thermostat down to nought degrees Kelvin." "Minus 273 degrees Centigrade?" "You been at the physics books again?" Yesterday, winter struck Lund bad; no fire and ice, just wind and ice. I was not impressed, just cold. Time to gear up in winter clothes and pray for the warmer, lighter days to return.