Stumbled across and old goodie...
01
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
10
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Perhitungan Hamil Setelah Berhubungan
8 months ago
2 comments:
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.
Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.
Long time no seeing... Chuck rules!
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